Section III of the Big Red Book (BRB) contains a “Handbook for Adult Children,” which may answer some questions that may come up about starting a meeting, trusted servant information, and conducting a group business meeting. “It is suggested that ACA meetings hold a regular business meeting monthly or quarterly.” More information may be found on our Meeting Resources page. The following “Suggested Commitment to Service” (from the Handbook for Adult Children) and “Tradition Meditations” (from Chapter 19) may also be helpful.
The Suggested Commitment to Service
I perform service so that my program will be available for myself, and through those efforts, others may benefit. I will perform service and practice my recovery by:
- Affirming that the true power of our program rests in the membership of the meetings and is expressed through our Higher Power and through group conscience.
- Confirming that our process is one of inclusion and not exclusion; showing special sensitivity to the viewpoint of the minority in the process of formulating the group conscience so that any decision is reflective of the spirit of the group and not merely the vote of the majority.
- Placing principles before personalities.
- Keeping myself fit for service by working my recovery as a member of the program.
- Striving to facilitate the sharing of experience, strength, and hope at all levels: meetings, Intergroups, Regional committees, service boards, and World Services.
- Accepting the different forms and levels of service and allowing those around me to each function according to their own abilities.
- Remaining willing to forgive myself and others for not performing perfectly.
- Being willing to surrender the position in which I serve in the interest of unity and to provide the opportunity for others to serve; to avoid problems of money, property, and prestige; and to avoid losing my own recovery through the use of service to act out my old behavior, especially in taking care of others, controlling, rescuing, being a victim, etc.
- Remembering I am a trusted servant; I do not govern.
“Higher Power. I am your trusted servant seeking to support my ACA group and its primary purpose. Please remind me that the life of my program and my own recovery depends upon my willingness to put the group’s welfare above my own will. Help me recognize unity.”
“Higher Power. I understand that you make your voice heard in a group conscience. I ask you to remind me that the life of my program and, therefore, my own recovery depends upon my willingness to put the group’s welfare above my own will . Where I disagree with the common view of my fellows in service, allow me to state my case honestly and respectfully. Allow me to listen to and consider the views others. May I state my view and support all group decisions, including the ones I might disagree with. Your will, not mine, be done.”
“Higher Power. Help me recognize my desire to recovery from the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional home. Give me willingness to attend meetings to recover from these effects. I participate in ACA because I want to change and help others. Thank you for leading me to these rooms where I belong. Thank you for giving me the courage to walk into an ACA meeting and stay and find my place. I am finally home. I finally know where I fit.”
“Higher Power. Help my home group remain focused on the Twelve Step process of recovery while still having its own personality and flavor. When the actions and decisions of my group might affect ACA as a whole, may we find the spirit of cooperation and a willingness to seek help from the ACA service structure. My group is autonomous, but it is not alone.”
“Higher Power. Help me remember that ACA has one primary purpose, which centers the fellowship and which simplifies most discussions. Help me remember to ask myself a simple question when I am doing the business of ACA. ‘Does what we are about to do support the primary purpose of carrying the ACA message to another adult child needing help?’ “
“Higher Power. Grant me the wisdom to know when a group project will carry the message of recovery to those who still suffer, or will direct group energy away from carrying the message. Guide us away from discussions about property, prestige, or endorsing causes that are not ACA. Give me the courage to speak clearly and thoughtfully for what I believe honors Tradition Six.”
“Higher Power. I am here to do your will. Help me give for the right reason with the right amount. Help me remember the I have a different life today because of ACA. May I be willing to give back what was freely given to me. May I claim spiritual ownership in this fellowship.”
“Higher Power. Remind me that the direction of our program comes from the ACA members and the groups. Remind me that we must make our own decisions. Guide us when we discuss the need to hire special workers that will help us fulfill ACA’s primary purpose. Grant us the wisdom to make the best decisions for our groups, service structure, and our fellowship as a whole.”
“Higher Power. May I remember that ACA and its meeting and service structure are different from my family of origin. May I be patient and avoid reaching for the easiest way out when I am confronted with a difficult situation. Help me and my ACA group ask for help in keeping our meetings safe and recovery-oriented. Also help us celebrate the things that we do right.”
“Higher Power. Help me to honor ACA’s primary purpose and focus my sharing in meetings on topics of recovery. Help me remember that ACA is a spiritual program and not a political, religious, or other type of program.”
“Higher Power. I ask you to guide me in maintaining my anonymity at the level of all media because no one speaks for ACA or gives the appearance of speaking for ACA. We attract others to ACA by our good works and the good word of others. Help me discern when I might break my anonymity for a suffering adult child looking for a way out of confusion. This person might be a co-worker or a family member. Help me know when to share some of my story, or when to remain quiet and maintain my anonymity. May I avoid speaking out of turn, or using my ego to share with people who may not be interested in ACA. At the same time, give me courage to share this program when the moment is right.”
“Higher Power. Help me see the connecting thread that anonymity brings to the ACA program. Give me the willingness that I need to practice ACA principles instead of a false self personality.”